Let us talk about EQ.
Emotional intelligence predicts people’s ability to regulate themselves, manage other people, and achieve success. Not everyone is born with it, but unlike IQ, emotional intelligence can be acquired and improved with practice. These are qualities that are easy to assess in everyday situations.
1: They handle criticism without denial, blame, excuses or anxiety.
If you have ever heard people say, “That rule does not apply to me” or “My performance was just fine” (when it was not), you have witnessed denial. These are folks who are so defensive and walled off, or their egos are so fragile, that they are simply not ready for feedback. They are, in effect saying, “There is no problem; my performance was absolutely fine. If you do not like the results, that is a problem with your judgement, not my performance.”
Then there is anxiety. Here, the actual subpar performance and culpability have been fully acknowledged, but the person lacks the readiness to move forward and improve future performance. People with anxiety say things like, “There is no way we will finish in time” or “We have tried to fix this before, and it just did not work.”
2: They are open-minded.
A high level of self-awareness lets emotionally intelligent people listen to a situation without reacting to judgment. They do not automatically dismiss ideas just because they are different from their own. You will not find them with their phone in their hand all day or tolerating negative personalities, but they do have a knack for helping people quickly set things right.
3: They are good listeners.
Great listening requires a developed listening structure that separates the facts from interpretations, reactions and ends. People with emotional intelligence can identify the emotions that shut down their ability to listen. They have worked at developing the ability to divorce themselves from those emotions so they can remain open and able to hear what is being said.
4: They do not sugarcoat the truth.
5: They apologise when they are wrong.
People with high emotional intelligence do not invest valuable time trying to prove they are right when they realise they are wrong. Instead of looking for excuses, they offer a simple, honest apology that lets them quickly get back on track. It sounds something like this: “I am sorry I messed up and chose some bad words that sounded like I was attacking you. This is not what I intended. Can we try again?”
