“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution”.

Why are you where you are in your life? What choices have you made because of what you believe to be true for yourself?

I am reading Healing Developmental Trauma by Laurence Heller, and it is normal for me to need breaks every chapter (or so).

But this one is not a one-day reader.
I am pairing it up with knitting, Ancient Aliens and Mulder & Scully because, girl, I am coming apart by my rag doll seams.

I had a fit this morning while writing some code. Nothing was working right and after two hours, I threw my laptop on my bed and cried. I went into the shower and wept while conditioning my faded green hair. Sure I calmed down quickly but I felt foolish. I knew the script was unimportant, nothing was the matter, and I wrapped myself in a towel and put “March of the Pigs” on.

After my clothes were on, I fixed the problem in less than a minute. I put some coffee on and grabbed some crackers.

I picked up my phone to 13 missed phone calls. Yeah, I know. Shutting your ringers off might make your house quiet, but it does not make your responsibilities go away.

Why are you where you are in your life? What choices have you made because of what you believe to be true for yourself?

(what if you find out that I am useless? what if you knew I had zero ambition)
I never wanted anything. Or at least that was what I said. I have wanted things, but I do not deserve anything. So, that is what I got – nothing.
I might do a lot, but it is to keep me numb.

There are many people in my life, but I am always alone.

Maybe this was done on purpose… so no one would expect anything from me (and I would not need to be disappointed when my needs were not met).

 

When the case is out
And tired and sodden
Take it in your heart