Greetings, I suppose.
This is a blog. I am one of the people behind “the curtain”.
I wouldn’t call myself “excited” to be here, but I’m present, which in this economy is a miracle.
People say, “You should let people get to know the real you.” That’s cute. Here’s the real me: I wake up reluctantly, function on caffeine and spite, and navigate life like it’s a group project where no one else is helping. I’m not mysterious—I’m just tired and selectively social.
Let’s get the obligatory “fun facts” out of the way:
• I own items. I do things. Occasionally I experience joy, but I keep it quiet so no one expects it regularly.
• I’ve never been arrested, which is either a testament to my self-control or a failure of the system.
• I enjoy silence. It’s my favourite sound. Right behind, “everyone cancelled plans.”
• My hobbies include reading into things too much, disengaging mid-conversation without guilt, and collecting tabs I’ll never read like some people collect porcelain cats.
• I once tried meditation, but I got distracted by the crushing weight of existence. So now I just sit still and call it “thinking.”
Social interaction is something I endure, like a dentist appointment or team-building exercises. I nod. I blink. Sometimes I say “haha, yeah” to fill the void. Then I go home and analyse everything I said for the next six years.
This blog will probably contain thoughts I regret posting, opinions no one asked for, and occasional updates on my ongoing feud with mornings. I may include a recipe. For revenge.
If you’re reading this, you’re either very bored or lost. Either way, welcome.
I won’t say I hope you enjoy it. But if you do, I won’t hold it against you.
With mild indifference,
-Me (J.W. Eirdflower)
