Greetings, I suppose.

This is a blog. I am one of the people behind “the curtain”.

I wouldnโ€™t call myself โ€œexcitedโ€ to be here, but Iโ€™m present, which in this economy is a miracle.

People say, โ€œYou should let people get to know the real you.โ€ Thatโ€™s cute. Hereโ€™s the real me: I wake up reluctantly, function on caffeine and spite, and navigate life like itโ€™s a group project where no one else is helping. Iโ€™m not mysteriousโ€”Iโ€™m just tired and selectively social.

Letโ€™s get the obligatory โ€œfun factsโ€ out of the way:
โ€ข I own items. I do things. Occasionally I experience joy, but I keep it quiet so no one expects it regularly.
โ€ข Iโ€™ve never been arrested, which is either a testament to my self-control or a failure of the system.
โ€ข I enjoy silence. Itโ€™s my favourite sound. Right behind, โ€œeveryone cancelled plans.โ€
โ€ข My hobbies include reading into things too much, disengaging mid-conversation without guilt, and collecting tabs Iโ€™ll never read like some people collect porcelain cats.
โ€ข I once tried meditation, but I got distracted by the crushing weight of existence. So now I just sit still and call it โ€œthinking.โ€

Social interaction is something I endure, like a dentist appointment or team-building exercises. I nod. I blink. Sometimes I say โ€œhaha, yeahโ€ to fill the void. Then I go home and analyse everything I said for the next six years.

This blog will probably contain thoughts I regret posting, opinions no one asked for, and occasional updates on my ongoing feud with mornings. I may include a recipe. For revenge.

If youโ€™re reading this, youโ€™re either very bored or lost. Either way, welcome.
I wonโ€™t say I hope you enjoy it. But if you do, I wonโ€™t hold it against you.

With mild indifference,
-Me (J.W. Eirdflower)