Instead of giving advice or warnings, just tell them the truths you wish they would have known.
Say what you could not say back then.
Let them know how their choices shaped your life.
But also—admit that they probably will not listen.
Because that version of you is not ready. And maybe never will be.
Then… end the letter by saying goodbye to the parts of yourself that cannot come with you any more. The habits. The beliefs. The lies you told yourself to survive. Make it real. Make it final. Like a farewell to someone you loved but cannot keep around.
Hi.
This may seem a bit strange, but I’m you. Or rather, you in a few years.
I just wanted to give a report on life in the future. No, I won’t tell you what stocks to buy or anything like that. I just wanted to let you know how things are going and where you’d end up going.
I will explain a bit of things I have experienced over the years that has passed since I was you. I have learned some and done some. Usually without learning from it until it was too late, or even learned at all. Take patience as an example.
I never understood how important part of life waiting and patience is. To wait a bit is good. It’s healthy. Don’t rush or go off excitedly every time you want anything, and things will feel better. I think a lot of things could’ve been different for me had I understood that long ago. We both now my parents tried to tell me, but it never stuck. I was too impatient or perhaps didn’t even care about what they said. I think that’s been another issue. Not listening enough. To sit down with a person to truly hear and understand what they’re saying. It can be friends telling you you’re doing the wrong things, lovers that say they have been hurt, family trying to give advice or a coworker that tries to give instructions. I know I was never good at listening and a lot of people have been hurt because of it.
Blaming other people for my own shortcomings or mistakes hasn’t helped either. It’s better to admit fault and to learn from them than to keep lying, blaming, avoiding. I am aware that you feel wounded or hurt and feel like you don’t have a place with anyone or in the world itself. But you do. You just have to get there first. I have lost pretty much everything I could ever want. Friends, job, passions, love, money and safety because of these things. The lying and hiding about things didn’t help in the long run. Not in the short run neither, to be honest. I know you don’t really care about the “long term” at the moment, but the future is always coming. Just try to see it and listen to it. Accept it and love it for what it is no matter what it brings. Because even though hurt can come from it, more good will come. And even just a little good is worth experiencing some bad. Just trust what you feel and what you want.
I listened to too many bad advice and I let myself get into trouble. Words are important. Both the ones said to you and the ones said by you. I should’ve taken more care of my words and how I said them and when. I have learned that words holds a lot of power. It doesn’t matter why they’re said or if they are meant or not. They can cause more harm than believed. I have spoken the wrong words, spoken them to the wrong people and listened to the wrong words from the wrong people. I have tried to learn. Tried to speak the words to myself first and see how they sound and feel if said to me. It isn’t always easy because context and personal experience and thoughts can change meanings of words. Same with actions. If you say one thing, but do another, the actions will overshadow the words and you become a liar.
After a lot of errors and mistakes I have now come to a place in my life where I think I am finally starting to learn. To see and understand. I wish that you start doing so as well, and sooner than me.
I have had to cut away parts of my life, I have lost parts of my life and I have to start all over again with a lot of things because I didn’t take care of myself, what I did and the people around me.
I understand that you probably won’t take many of my words into consideration. You are not ready for that quite yet. You are still going to be a drunken mess of a person and you will create situations you don’t know how to handle or clean up.
You have parts that I no longer can have with me. Big parts. The horrible and offensive humour, the massive abuse of alcohol and other things, other habits and beliefs. The lying and deceit and the avoidance that you are doing so well and that I have kept and made into my brand – it can’t keep any of it. I don’t want to take with me. I don’t want it, I don’t like it and it hurts people. And it hurts myself.
Listen to your heart and you know that it is true what I have said. But you will probably just keep lying to yourself and blame it on others.
I did like you a lot. You were fun and simple. But it couldn’t stay that way. I have to grow up. I have to do things, if not correct all of the time, then at least better.
I know I can’t do that with you in my life. I am setting myself free from you so that we both can do what we feel we have to and want to do. You want to party and mess around. I want to grow up, change and to be better than I have been – than what I am.
Take care and stay safe.
(You are going to need it even if you don’t believe me or want to listen to me.)
Audun
