Flip the Lens
She woke up, looking expectantly on her phone. It was still early, so she was not surprised he hadnβt sent her a message yet. She still wished for him to do so. She would send him a text in a while if he didnβt say anything first. She didnβt want to wake him up. He seems to need his sleep. It almost worried her the way he slept. It was something unhealthy about it all. She worried a lot about him. He had given the impression that he was interested in her and that he liked her, and she really liked him. But she wasnβt able to get a proper hold of him.
He seemed distracted and aloof and sometimes even cold towards her. He would appear very closed off at times, not sharing much about his whereabouts and not ask many questions about her. It was almost as if he tried to avoid speaking to her at times. And she believed he drank too much. And the weird thing was that he wouldnβt text or call her when he was drunk. Quite the opposite. He would disappear completely until the next day. And then he would complain about being hung over, how much fun the night before had been, how much he had been drinking and act very strange.
There were never details about where he had been or with whom. It was usually βjust some friendsβ or βa couple of my coworkersβ he would have been out with. No names, no places or no details. The only details would be what he had been drinking and how much of it. She felt excluded. Kept out of something that seemed important to him, though unhealthy. She wanted to be with him on these evening. She wanted to experience the fun and the life and the joy he seemed to surround himself in during these nights. But he had never invited her and when she had asked if she could come, she had been refused and denied to come. He would have some lame excuses about it being just a couple of his friends and that it was βboys nights outβ and things like that. But at the same time he wouldnβt text go out on the town and hang with people there. She had heard friends of her tell her that heβd been seen out, and apparently not around anyone that he had mentioned to her before.
She felt kept away. Hidden. Not allowed to fully be a part of his life.
He claimed to like her a lot, and she liked that he did. She liked him too and she believed he could be a good and fun partner for her. But there was something not quite right. A secrecy and something almost dark about him. Finally a message appeared. It was a silly meme and him wishing her a good morning, though it was closer to noon. He said he had to go to work soon, but that he would like to chat some with her later would she have the time. She always made time for him. She made him a priority even if he didnβt always seem to prioritise her. Did he really like her? Truly? Or was it just that he liked her when he wanted to kill some time and didnβt have anything else to do? Was she just a fidget toy for him? She needed to ask about these things and talk to him, but it was hard because he always seemed to avoid these types of questions. Like he suddenly remembered he had somewhere to go, didnβt see the texts or something. It was confusing. No, it was more. It was hurtful.
