When someone says, โThat is in the past, let us focus on the consequences,โ what they really mean is โI do not want to feel the discomfort of acknowledging what I did to other people.โ
It reframes harm as an event that happened to them โ โI lost friends, I was ostracised, I faced backlashโ โ rather than something they inflicted.
They are using racism a social faux pas that cost them reputation, not as an act of dehumanisation that cost others safety and dignity.
This is why it feels hollow when apologies come with no change in behaviour.ย They are narrating a perfectly manicured fallout, ignoring the pain caused.
They are completely skipping the step where empathy lives โ the one that says, โI see what I did to you, and I understand why it matters.โ
Until the cause is named, not just the consequences to them, there is no transformation, only reputation management.
It is only natural for your body to reaction with intuitive recognition of that gapโฆ and to switch their performance off.
