I have heard βIβm sorryβ used like plaster. Applied thickly and repeated often. Smoothed out over the cracks like it magically fixes what caused the damage. But βIβm sorryβ is hardly spackle. It does not repair anything on its own.
An apology without changed behaviour is just an emotional performance designed to keep the relationship in the same place: unstable, confusing, and endlessly negotiable.
A real apology is not a mood, Β not a moment. It is not shameful. A real apology is a pattern change.
Because if you apologise and then keep:
- pushing & baiting
- violating boundaries & demanding emotional access
- manufacturing βreasonsβ to contact someone
β¦then the apology was not accountability. It was something closer to marketing without cool stickers.
So for 2026 and beyond…
No: long paragraphs soaked in shame, or dramatic self-awareness realisations at 2 AM (sprinkled like parsley on top of the same rubbish behaviour).
All that your apologies require? Different choices.
Otherwise, βIβm sorryβ becomes a trap: a reset button that allows someone to hurt you again without consequenceβbecause look, they apologised (!), so now you are supposed to be kind, adoring and stupid enough to let the drawbridge down to allow them to harm you again.
But remember, kids! Kindness without boundaries is just volunteering for repeated harm.
