At least not in the sense of:
I did three good things, therefore the universe owes me three good things.
It is trust, not accounting.
You trust that life is not a closed system.
You trust that generosity does not disappear simply because the recipient failed to reciprocate.
Keeping score is pointless (see what I did there? π€¦π½ββοΈ). Keeping faith that everything is working in your favour can be remarkable when your life has been scarred by cruelty, loss and trauma.
You remember the events, certainly. You remember who failed you. Calculating debts is a waste of time.
If you did, that friend that you always loan money to would owe you a mountain.
Your ex, that still expects you to solve their problems for them would owe you a mountain.
Your family members, that only come around when they need something would owe you a mountain.
Shoot, society would owe you a mountain.
At some point you would need an accountant instead of a therapist.
But instead it feels like:
I will do what feels aligned with my values. Whether that particular person repays me is secondary. This is a very different philosophy.
When people believe repayment must come from the same source, they often become trapped.
βI helped him, therefore he must help me.β
βI loved her, therefore she must love me.β
βI worked hard there, therefore they must reward me.β
Life does not always work that way.
Sometimes the person you helped vanishes into the mist and never thinks of you again.
Then, six months later, a doctor spends an extra twenty minutes listening.
A friend answers the phone at exactly the right moment.
A stranger holds a door open that becomes a conversation that becomes an opportunity.
Whether someone sees that as providence, karma, manifestation, social reciprocity, coincidence, or simply the interconnectedness of human beings is almost beside the point.
The lived experience is:
Somehow, when I needed something, it arrived.
Kindness returns when you are down.
Not on random Tuesdays when everything is already fine.
This tracks with something I have noticed about human memory.
We do not remember every glass of water we have ever drunk.
We remember the one when we were desperately thirsty.
So perhaps some of what is noticed is not just that kindness arrives. It is that you are able to recognise it when it does.
And that is a gift in itself.
Many people receive help constantly and never notice. They only notice what is missing.
Noticing what is present⦠that is the sweet spot.
That does not mean everyone is trustworthy all of the time. Time will sharpen that skill eventually.
It is more like⦠expecting every seed to grow in the exact spot where you planted it.
And this is a peaceful way to move through the world.
