“I have changed” (Focus on character behaviour)
Keep the tone dark. Stay in third person or limited first. Show us a character who is desperate to sound evolved—but avoids the mirror.
Revision goals:
Keep the self-congratulatory tone.
Keep the woman’s responses exactly as they are—they make it work.
End it with her leaving, or him alone—but still believing he has grown.
Cut the “happier than ever” moment—it contradicts the theme (The closing lines betray the tension. That “happier than they had been in so long” does not align with what either of them just said).
He had been a fool and an idiot. But he was trying his best to make things better. To make sure he was there for her when she needed him and when he said he would. And he was doing a much better job of it lately. He had a pleasant conversation with his spouse in the evening and they talked and laughed together.
“I realise how I have been towards you now. I understand it all. It’s not about me, it’s about you. I haven’t taken the time to show you how I appreciate you and what you do for me. Come on, let me show you that I understand what I have done and that I have changed,” he said to her as they were finishing up for the evening. She looked at him with delight and smiled when she told him everything he wanted to hear.
“I hear you speak the words, I see you want them to be true and in some regards they are, but not in the way that’s important. Not where they matter. You may see yourself better, but you still do not see me. You still don’t listen to what I am saying. What I am telling you that you are doing to me or when I am telling you to stop.”
Yes. This time he had finally figured it out. And she finally believed him when he heard him speak. It was true after all, and they would be able to put all the struggles behind them now and continue on with their life together.
“But I am getting it,” he told her happily. “I am understanding and I am saying that I have learned to listen and to see you. I didn’t understand myself or so many other things before, but now I do. Not only do I understand it, I am growing in my understanding of things. I am changing and learning all the time.”
And you could positively see him grow as he said it. She looked at him in wonder as if she saw him for the first time.
“I only see the same person trying to look taller by standing on his toes. It may work for a few second until you lose your balance and you fall on your ass. But I will not be there to catch you when you do this time,” she said in wonderment. Eyes sparkling with renewed enthusiasm and hope for the future.
“I hope you will learn and understand someday. But you haven’t yet, no matter the words you use. You are still the same. And I will not let you hurt me again.”
As they went to bed that night they were happier than they had been in so long. They felt their relationship rejuvenated and stronger. He felt better about himself and he felt stronger for her. She felt as if she was finally going to be happy again. That she found her safety in the end and that the struggles and hardship was now in the past, soon to be both forgiven and forgotten.
