I never tried to gain a mass of followers and need got very deep into that aspect of social media. Most of the people I had on Facebook – besides my actual friends – I had met either through friends, through the music scene or through various settings either through work or such. But I never focused on βcollectingβ a big follower mass.
No, I never deleted many of the people I had on my various Socials, but thatβs just how I have always been. I never deleted anything from anywhere, no matter how useless or redundant it may be.
I feel a bit inspired by other people’s internet popularity when it’s earned. But I think everything genuine scares me. Everything that requires consistency and determination is foreign and kind of scary to me. I feel I donβt belong with it.
What I have done hasnβt been a βlong-termβ thing. I have never, or at least rarely, thought very far ahead in time. None of what I have done has been thought through. I donβt act as much as I βreactβ, I think. Building trust or integrity isn’t something I’ve thought about – I thought it was a right? Β I havenβt had a noticeable βcareerβ in some years, but the little sliver of what I could have kept would probably go away if people knew the things I’ve done (chasing validation, curating facades, manipulating women, and declaring myself a misunderstood rockstar). Seeing people living the life in reality that I’ve been living in my head has been proof that substance beats performance every time.
