Some days are like that. It is nothing you really canโt help. Some days you just don’t seem to be able to do exactly what you felt you were able to do yesterday. Everything just feels off. The guitar wonโt get properly tuned, drawing a line the same way you did yesterday seems impossible today. Having socks on feels weird, but it also feels weird not having them on. You put your head on the same pillow as yesterday, but it just feels wrong.ย
Sure, things wonโt always stay the same. We can have an off day and things may seem different, or difficult or boring. What gave you joy yesterday feels pointless. But remember that things that felt boring or pointless the other day felt amazing yesterday. Things are not static. We are not static. Everything can and will change from day to day. That counts for us as well. It is just life.ย
But try to sit with that feeling for a moment when things feels off. Try to look at it differently. Isnโt it better that something arenโt exactly the same every single day or time? Isnโt it parts of what make good things feel good because sometimes they can seem bad?ย
I have been sitting for 30 minutes today trying to draw five lines. Over and over again. I drew the 5 same lines the other day, and that time it made me feel ecstatic that I was able to. Iโm not sure why I canโt do the same thing today, and it annoyed me beyond words.ย
Started to look for excuses. What could I blame today that made things harder. Was the chair any different? No. Itโs the same chair, and I feel comfortable sitting on it just like I did the other day. In fact, everything seemed to be quite similar to the other day. Except it didnโt feel like it.ย
โA-ha,โ I thought. I found it. I didnโt feel the same way. My mindset wasnโt the same. Maybe I havenโt eaten enough or maybe I have had too much coffee. I donโt know, and I really donโt care about that today, because I realised I got excited of making such a silly and simple โdiscoveryโ. Of course things will feel different from day to day. In fact; nothingโs ever the same. We canโt replicate the past. We can only act on what we have now. To try and hold tho the past is to stop living in the present. Same about worry about the future. We can dream and plan and take precautions for what is to come, but the only thing that is absolutely certain isthmus exact moment.ย
Iโm not a philosopher or a great thinker. I donโt understand all the connections we do in our lives or in our heads. I have been told things like this here thousands of times. Of course we canโt go back in time. Just as we canโt predict the future. But I felt really excited in making those connections today. To really see and to feel it in myself. And I do feel a bit silly sitting here writing about something that seems so simple, but reacting to it as my bathtub overflowed as I got into it. Itโs not a major discovery for mankind. It wonโt solve world hunger or end wars. But it feels good inside of me realising this. Every small steps counts. It all helps. There is no point in trying to help the world if you canโt try to help yourself a bit first. And today I felt I have helped myself a bit. ย
