a- link to original post
b-what circumstance do I believe lead to this post being written?
This was written after I had started to work on my amends for the abuse I had committed. There have been a few months of therapy work leading up to this, and it has been a bumpy ride. We started working on amends, and I wasn’t ablate grasp the concept of it, and it lead to frustration, anger and sorrow – for the both of us.
c-whatβs the central idea or message?
The message I think is quite clear. A diagnosis is not an excuse. It is not how you go about making amends, and the roles we have had – the half-roles – has made things muddy and not optimal. None of us was able to do what we should do – both for each other and for ourselves. It also speaks about what amends should do, why one should seek to do them and howΒ not to do them.
d-whatβs the tone of the post (The author’s attitude toward the subject)?
The tone is a bit of the same in the way that she writes as both a victim and a therapist. The language and text itself is to the point, “clinical” in its form, but at the same time it has the experience and the emotions of the one hurt.
e-whatβs the mood of the post? (The overall atmosphere or feeling the post creates)?
And that I feel is shown here. It is written as both the therapist and as the victim. It is her experiences and her trauma that I sense. The fact that these things happened to her, and that she still have had to do the work – especially emotionally – and that it has not been helping her at all despite that was much of the point in me doing these things.
f-how does the post make you feel?
Sad, frustrated, angry, ashamed.. I feel so much of it, and I feel it partly because I haven’t wanted to avoid the responsibility or avoid anything of what I have done. I also feel a bit stupid because I have genuinely believed I have done what I should do, but have clearly not.
g-what do you like about the post?
I like the straightforwardness of it. It is clear and to the point. I don’t feel that it is out to “get me” or judge me, but more to explain to me and show me what I have done wrong and how I have “operated”.
h-what do you dislike about the post?
There isn’t anything I don’t like about the post itself. What I don’t like is the fact that it had to be written. That she has experienced and felt these things. (I’m not saying that these things are unfounded or wrong! I am just sorry that she has had to go through all of this extra and unnecessary experiences.) The things I truly dislikes is the things I have have done, and all that she has suffered because of me.
I-what questions does the post leave you with?
I’m not sure I am left with as many questions as I am confused. I have believed I have given facts and tried to take accountability, but I clearly haven’t. I have difficulties understanding a lot of the emotional aspects of these things, and though I want to do what is said and written in the post, I just don’t seem to fully grasp the differences in what have written myself, and what should have been written.
j-do you connect with the post? Why or why not?
Yes, I think so. I totally understand and see her point. I get the message loud and clear, and I understand what she is describing in the roles we have had. The way she writes and explains are good, and that is not where my problems lies. At least I don’t think so. My issues is more in the emotional area, and I guess I have to figure out a way to overcome that, because I really want to make amends and to make up for what I have done – should any of it be possible to make up for.
a) link to original post
b) what circumstance do I believe lead to this post being written?
The author is a psychologist. She writes pieces like these to help with them and other readers of her blog. They are a great way to go and get reminders, to have a well written and informational summary at hand. No need to scan through google for articles and question the reliability of the author or the content. Β Anxiety and fear is also something that we have discussed on several occasions, and it seems that I have a bit difficult separating those two, and the author has made posts like these to help me better understand these things.
c)whatβs the central idea or message?
The central message here is that people often misuses the terms for these things and so this is a guide to help them understand the differences and to help them overcome, or at least handle their anxiety better. To understand how it’s not an actual threat to them, but that it is all in your mind. But she is not saying it in a way that’s belittling or making anxiety less of a feeling. It is real, and it can be crippling to some people. And here she tries to hep people see that there are ways to cope with it.
d) whatβs the tone of the post (The author’s attitude toward the subject)?
And that is perhaps the tone of this post. It is an educational and open way of talking about anxiety and that even though it is real and uncomfortable, it is simply a problem, and all problems have solutions.
e) whatβs the mood of the post? (The overall atmosphere or feeling the post creates)?
This also comes off in how she speaks about it. It isn’t passionless, but it is pragmatic and it is with an air of both therapist, but also as a spiritual guide. It is meant toΒ help people. And both that and the field of subject is something that is close to the author’s heart.
f) how does the post make you feel?
I feel this post is good. It makes me less anxious just to read it, though I need time and several rereads to fully grasp what is said and meant. It feels very nice knowing that I can find these types of posts that are actually helpful, and they almost feel made for me. They are about topics we discuss and that she knows I have difficulties with.
g) what do you like about the post?
That is something I really like about this post. How it seems made fore me, but that it’s in fact universal. Her way of writing is open, direct and it’s highly understandable for everyone that suffers from anxiety. And it hold no prejudice, belittling, lecturing or condescension. It is just simply extremely well composed. Everything from the explanations to examples and solutions.
h) what do you dislike about the post?
In looking over this post I can’t say there is a single thing I dislike about it. The only thing could perhaps be that I feel a bit foolish about mistaking things. and mixing them up. But that has nothing at all to do with this post or the authors. that’s just myself bringing myself down, and I am getting better at not doing it, but simply looking at it, be grateful for the information and new ways of looking at things and learning.
i) what questions does the post leave you with?
In the way that this post is written, I don’t think there is very much you are left with to question. Things are straightforward, there are good examples and quite clear instructions on how to do things. If there is one question I would have to ask, it would be how to best get started on changing ones mindset. What meditation techniques would be best to start with? But just knowing the basics should be helpful. enough to go out thee and find that.
j) do you connect with the post? Why or why not?
All in all I connect with this post. I feel it is highly relevant to me and my own thought and that this is something I have struggled with – to understand the differences between fear and anxiety. And feeling good about reading this, makes me feel again that this is something for me, even though it’s not made fore me. It is something that is valuable to me.
