b-what circumstance do I believe lead to this post being written?
I can’t say what exactly happened that led to this post being written, but it is undoubtedly in regard to the relationship between us. Or rather what the relationship should or could have been, and what I ended up showing up with. It shows the differences between us, in what we seek and how we build. What we put into the concept of “relationship”. It tells of how this relationship should have been grander than anything else. That it was destined – “written in the stars”, but that I failed to show up for it. I wanted things without the work. I took for granted, I showed a mask and not myself.
c-whatβs the central idea or message?
The message is given without anger, I feel, but still a lot of passion and emotions. I think there are some regrets in it, and sorrow. It has a kind of”finality” to it as well. The end line speaks quite loudly for this. I showed up as a ghost in the end, and she doesn’t deal with those.
f-how does the post make you feel?
The post makes me feel regrets. There are shame, yes, but that is not the leading emotion anymore. The regrets are stronger and it is accompanied by sorry and guilt instead. I didn’t show up. I didn’t do the work. I kept her at a distance and I took instead advantage of her love and believed that her work would be enough for the both of us.
g-what do you like about the post?
I like this post a lot. It is a beautiful text, and everything that moves us is something that should be liked, though the feelings I am left with isn’t of the positive kind. Her language is direct enough for me to get what she’s talking about though the form of it goes a little over my head. That is not on her, but on me.
h-what do you dislike about the post?
At the same time I don’t like the fact that she felt that a post like this should have be written. But again, this is not about her or the post, but the feeling of guilt and regret I have. Had I showed up as “the man instead of the myth”, her feelings wouldn’t have been what they are.
h-what do you dislike about the post?
And that leaves me with the ever-gnawing question of “what if?” What if I had done as I said. Shown up as I should have. As I wanted. What would thing have been likeΒ ifΒ I had been the man I said I was? That I wanted to be and desired to be.
But I understand that an answer to these things will never be answered. Not in this lifetime or in this timeline. Perhaps in a different dimension where the stars are aligning for this to play out in a different way in a different time?
j-do you connect with the post? Why or why not?
But this post I good. I feel it deep inside of me. I feel her words resonate and it feels… strong. I feel the connection to the words, and the meaning of them. I believe I connect with them in a different way than I initially did. I feel them and connect to them now in ways I couldn’t before. It is helping me put away my mask and makes me want to try building the man instead.
