a- link to original post
b-what circumstance do I believe lead to this post being written?
I guess the sum of everything she had experienced through her life – all the injustice done to her, and all of the unfairness she had experienced – made her feel the things she writes about here.
c-whatβs the central idea or message?
There is much of this post that goes a bit over my head, and that I can’t fully comprehend. But there is obvious that she don’t trust or believe in people anymore. She saying “I will not carry the weight of my friendships, my loves, on my own,” is a clear indication on this. She feels used and worn out by people. She feel alone and that she only is of concern of others as long as she gives them something they can use. But they never give anything back.
d-whatβs the tone of the post (The author’s attitude toward the subject)?
It is hard. It is not cruel, but it is filled with anger and fury. It is such a hurt tone, a desperate one, almost. It is filled with experiences of unfairness and injustice. Things done to her. Not because she had done anything to deserve it.
e-whatβs the mood of the post? (The overall atmosphere or feeling the post creates)?
The atmosphere and mood is dark and heavy. She is telling about horrors she’s been through that no one should suffer. She is hurt and wounded by people that has been her friends. She’s been abandoned and left alone, hurt, helpless and afraid.
f-how does the post make you feel?
I’m not sure I am quite able to name the things I feel. It is so much. The horror she have lived through is just too much for me to understand. I feel empathy and sympathy for her, but I don’t think I can ever truly understand all what she has been through. And the knowledge that I have been one of these “friends” to her. That I have taken advantage of her kindness and hospitality, for so to leave her abandoned on that train platform, is a horrible thing to know. I feel sick to my stomach, and I feel like utter shit for what my part in all of this has been.
g-what do you like about the post?
I’m not sure there is much to like. I like the language she uses, though I struggle with understanding it all. I like her language and the way she writes still.
h-what do you dislike about the post?
But I do not like her story and all she has been through. How she has been abandoned or abused over and over. How she has done so much for others, but only been treated like someone to use. And I don’t like the fact that I see my own part in it all.
I-what questions does the post leave you with?
I’m not sure if I have any.. I feel numb and ill.
j-do you connect with the post? Why or why not?
I’m not sure I really do. I feel her in the words and I feel so much empathy for her. But I can never fully understand what life she has lived and all the horrors she has been through. How can anyone? I am sorry to hear and know what you have gone through, and I am sorry for the part I have played in it.
a- link to original post
b-what circumstance do I believe lead to this post being written?
I think the circumstances can be that she has been living through gaslighting – both from me, but also others in her life – and wants to explain and show what gaslighting is. Not what it do, necessarily, but the mechanics to the reasonsΒ behind it.
c-whatβs the central idea or message?
The message is quite simple: To talk about what gaslighting feels like, what it is, why it is, and to make you look within and see if you yourself perhaps is being gaslit. It is not always easy to see when it happens, and this post can help raise awareness around it.
d-whatβs the tone of the post (The author’s attitude toward the subject)?
The tone seems both personal and academic. Both the choices of word and the presentation show of an understanding of academic and personal knowledge and experience. She is not out to get anyone here, but to inform. She doesn’t make any excuses for the abusers, but she do give an explanation of some of the “why”s behind gaslighting.
e-whatβs the mood of the post? (The overall atmosphere or feeling the post creates)?
Though it is a very serious subject – and it is written in all seriousness – it is not presented in a very heavy way. She shows compassion and empathy – both for abuser and abused – and is careful about pointing fingers. She shows how she has a deep understanding and is passionate about informing people about how it can feel to be gaslit.
f-how does the post make you feel?
I feel ashamed. Ashamed because I have been the abuser here, because I didn’t understand that I was the abuser and partly because I haven’t been able to communicate myself well enough in my relationships. I have instead hid, lied, omitted and made the other person feel confused, doubt themselves and even feel that they’re losing their own reality. It also frightens me that I have been able to do these things. And I am sorrowful because of all the damage and pain I have caused.
g-what do you like about the post?
I like the descriptions in the start. I can feel the entire room and the sound of the wrapping, how the chocolate melts in the mouth. I like how she looks at and writes about such a serious subject, and makes it accessible for people that necessarily have any knowledge about it beforehand. It is well composed, not out to get anyone or blame anyone, it raises awareness and creates understanding for all parties.
h-what do you dislike about the post?
What I dislike isn’t about the post itself, but how I have put her through the things I have done. How I have gaslit and abused. I look in the mirror and see a fool and an asshole, and I don’t like what I see. But the post itself is not to blame for that at all. That is all on me.
I-what questions does the post leave you with?
Again it is questions directed towards myself that pops up first. Why have I done this? Why have I felt the need to hide and lie to such a degree? Why didn’t I listen when this first was brought to my attention, and why have I taken so long in understanding what I have done? Finally, I guess I want to ask how one can stop this behaviour. I understand to “stop lying” is an easy answer, but there is a deeper reason behind the gaslighting that I want to understand.
j-do you connect with the post? Why or why not?
Yes, I think so. I see her points, I feel her pain and I am able to put aside my own shame and the horrors of what I have done, and instead focus on who I have done it to, and why.
