(started watching at 13.40. have had to watch it a couple of times to make some connections. I decided to watch a video on this list since I had watched and written a therapy video earlier today)
Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β How Bullying Is Different for Women Β Β Β Β Β Β
The first thing that strikes me with this video is flashbacks to school and the schemes of the girl cliques. How they exclude, spread rumours, and “act” certain ways around the girl that is being ostracised. Boys (and men) are often much more direct and physical. They can confront differently and don’t “scheme” in the same ways. Female bullying is in that way less about doing things, but more aboutΒ not doing things with/to the victim. And since it is more passive and hid form of aggression it is sometimes hard for the victim to notice this. They can start question themselves and think that they are overreacting or thinking “am I crazy?” – making it similar to gaslighting.
What did surprised me is how oxytocin plays in into all of this. How oxytocin that is so important in bonding and the mother role is also plays a big role in the aggression. I have probably been told this before, but my brain has such problems keeping track of what the different hormones do at the different times.
Female bullying also is more likely to be focused on social aspects and isolation. It is about exclude and make them feel alone. This makes smaller groups more “dangerous” since it will be easier to be singled out. But it also means if you have been through bullying, the social anxiety that can develop can make larger groups difficult to approach, leaving you again vulnerable for bullying. This is can be the case where a woman is a serial victim for bullying.
They speak about later in the video how they do a lot of research on this in schools. They study how school girls act and do.
I am not entirely sure how this video directly relates to me. I know I have bullied others. But I allowed stalking and bullying of Beatrice. I allowed her to face harassment and rumours, and I was the reason and source behind it due to lying to people I was chatting with, dating or pursuing. I also lied about and to Beatrice and made her a potential victim of this bullying.
I allowed her to be harmed, isolated and I didn’t step in or help her when she asked me – and eventually begged me – for help to stop this behaviour.
