Some people do not need to insult you.
They do not need to shout or be overtly cruel.β¨They just repeat certain phrases that function like trapdoors:
βYou are taking it out of context.β
βThat is not what I meant.β
βIβm sorry you feel that way.β
βYou are being too sensitive.β
βSorry to hear that.ββ¨
Not realising how they are being emotionally camouflaged. I refuse to participate in language that allows someone to βrespondβ without responding.
Why bother to speak if you are not saying what you mean?
βThat sounds painful.β is certainly not, βIβm sorry you feel that way.β
βDo you want comfort or solutions?β vs. βSorry to hear thatβ allows the person I am communicating with to know that I am listening and willing to help, or just sit and be there for them.
βI care about youβ sounds nothing like βThat sucksβ, which makes the person who is already suffering feel minimised and isolated.
βIβm sorry I did that.β or βYou are being too sensitive.β? The first one puts the responsibility back in my arena instead of blaming someone else. No matter what someone else may do to me, I control my actions.
β¨βI will do better.β Instead of βThat is not what I meant.β Yeah, that was likely not what I meant and next time (if I am allowed a next time), I will ask better questions before doing whatever it was I did that stepped on your toes.
This is not hard. Making it all about feelings is nonsense. It is about how you would want someone to treat you⦠a thing called respect. And honesty instead of polite emptiness.
