Catwoman vs Human Torch exactly the kind of match-up that makes the universe lean back, raise an eyebrow, and whisper: βAre you sure?β Because nothing says βbalanced combatβ like pairing a highly trained jewel thief who specialises in shadowsβ¦ with a man who is literally a portable sun.
Catwoman (Selina Kyle)
Peak stealth. Peak sarcasm. Peak βI do not want to be here but the paycheck was confusingly large.β She is agile enough to make Batman blink twice. She can steal anything that is not welded downβand a few things that are.
Her greatest weapon: The ability to break a manβs wrist and his heart in the same motion.
Human Torch (Johnny Storm)
A himbo with the heat output of an industrial furnace. The man yells βFlame on!β and does not even blush about it any more. He is a flying fireball who solves problems the same way teenagers solve homework: quickly, dramatically, and with the lingering smell of smoke.
Also: Johnny has the attention span of a caffeinated Labrador.
How the fight goes:
Johnny starts by bursting into flames like it is his favourite party trick. Catwoman sighs, checks her nails, immediately calculates 14 ways to escape, and 27 ways to profit off this situation.
Johnny tries to scorch the battlefield. Selina just⦠is not there. She has climbed a wall he did not notice, swung from a billboard he flew past, and stolen two of his credit cards on the way.
Johnny keeps shouting βWhere did you go?!β She keeps answering βAway from the giant fireball, genius,β while tripping him with her whip.
The thing is: Johnny has the raw power to defeat her. But Catwoman has the braincells. Many of them functioning all at once.
Johnny is one of those heroes who relies heavily on massive, obvious displays of power. Selina is the queen of exploiting massive, obvious displays of power. At some point she will lure him into a narrow alleyway. Johnny, as always, will fly straight in like a golden retriever chasing a laser pointer.
His flames will back-draft and will sputter mid-air. She will jump onto his back, slap something metallic onto his suitβ and Johnny Stormβ¦ goes into a fireproof dumpster (safety regulations matter).
Winner: Catwoman.
Not by overpowering him. By out-thinking, out-stealthing, and out-sassing him until he accidentally defeats himself. She walks away without a scratch and with his Fantastic Four communicator in her pocket. Johnny walks away confused, slightly singed, and newly aware that cats are terrifying.
Bracket Scores
Power:
Human Torch: 9.5
Catwoman: 4
Winner β Torch
Emotional Messiness:
Torch: 7 (insecure showboat with sibling dynamics)
Catwoman: 8 (βI steal because capitalism is a suggestionβ)
Winner β Catwoman
Banter:
Torch: 6 (goofy himbo energy)
Catwoman: 9 (deadly, dry, demeaningβart form)
Winner β Catwoman
Function Outside Niche:
Torch: 3 (no fire = mildly annoying skateboarder)
Catwoman: 9 (a thief, fighter, manipulatorβfully independent of powers)
Winner β Catwoman
Fight Winner:
β Catwoman
Update complete.
Selina advances to face whatever chaos Jonas throws nextβwith Johnny probably trying to ask for her number.
