DC vs Marvel – Round 6

Poison Ivy vs Beast – eco-goddess chaos vs blue-furred genius gymnastic professor, and the arena itself is already sweating with anticipation. Let us crack this open like an overripe seed pod.

Poison Ivy (Dr. Pamela Isley)

Botanist turned eco-terrorist turned morally flexible plant goddess. She is powerful anywhere there is a leaf, spore, vine, or potted fern from IKEA. Kisses that kill. Pheromones that bend minds. Root systems with more emotional stability than half of Gotham.

Her weakness:

Deserts.
Concrete.
And people who do not water their houseplants (gulp).

Beast (Hank McCoy)

Strength of a gorilla, brain of a Nobel laureate, agility of a Cirque du Soleil understudy. If you need someone to quote Shakespeare while performing mid-air calculus, he is your guy. He is kind, compassionate, and absolutely capable of tearing a tree in half if it punches him first.

His weakness:

Overthinking.
Self-doubt.

Occasionally catching his toes on doorframes because those paws are big.

How the fight unfolds

Round 1: Ivy terraforms the arena.

Vines erupt.

Spores drift.

Beast’s sinuses go to war.

The entire battlefield turns into a botanical rave.

Ivy stands in the middle like Mother Earth with an attitude problem (Sorry, Gaia).

Beast adjusts his glasses (which he does not need, but they make him feel smart) and says something polite like,

“Dr. Isley, truly impressive manipulation of flora—” before a vine bashes him sideways.

Round 2: Beast adapts.

He leaps, dodges, flips, and uses Ivy’s vines like monkey bars. His agility is unreal. He is bouncing between carnivorous blossoms like a blue pinball with tenure.

He gets close enough to strike— but Ivy releases pheromones. Beast freezes.

Not because he is controlled—his brain is too disciplined for that. But because he suddenly feels bad about hurting her plants.

Classic Hank McCoy problem. He hesitates. That is all this girl needs.

Round 3: Ivy shuts it down.

A single thorn pierces his skin. Her toxins do not kill him—his metabolism is wild—but they disorient him just enough. A vine wraps his legs. Another wraps his arms. He is immobilised, hanging upside down like a large, confused blueberry.

She pats his cheek. “Sweetie, you are adorable. But plants > violence.”

He tries to respond, but a vine stuffs a leaf in his mouth. He looks offended.

Winner: Poison Ivy

Because the Earth herself is her co-pilot, and Beast—brilliant, strong, agile—still can’t outfight someone who commands the battlefield at a molecular level.

He will recover, write a paper about it and over-apologise to the vines. But he is not winning this one.

Score Card

Power:

Ivy — 8 (10 if outdoors)

Beast — 7.5

→ Ivy wins

Emotional Messiness:

Ivy — 9 (trauma + activism + morally spicy ethics)

Beast — 6 (“I just want to help”—classic good man complex)

→ Ivy wins

Banter:

Ivy — 7 (dry, sultry, weaponized sarcasm)

Beast — 8 (Shakespeare + wit)

→ Beast wins

Function Outside Niche:

Ivy — 4 (take away plants and she is just a cranky botanist with toxins)

Beast — 9 (scientist, fighter, strategist—he thrives anywhere)

→ Beast wins

Fight Winner:

→ Poison Ivy