Killer Croc vs Luke Cage –“indestructible man who cannot be stabbed” vs “giant sewer dragon who treats people like chew toys.”
Sorry, Luke… This is going to be… moist.
Killer Croc (Waylon Jones)
Strength: absurd.
Durability: reptilian nightmare.
Skin: bullet-resistant.
Diet: indiscriminate.
Environment: thrives in damp, dark places where OSHA safety codes have never once been followed.
He is not just strong—he is feral strong.
And emotionally? He is the poster child for, “I did not choose to be born like this, now please scream while I chase you.”
Luke Cage (Power Man)
Strength: enormous.
Durability: titanium skin.
Vibes: tired single dad energy, except he is everyone’s dad.
Fighting style: punch first, lecture later.
Luke Cage is basically the human version of an “unbreakable coffee mug”—pure power, pure stubbornness, and refuses to go down even if you drop him off a fire escape.
How the fight goes
They step into the arena. Killer Croc hisses. Luke sighs because some part of him already knows this is about to become a wrestling match in a sewer.
Croc charges first—he always does.
Luke braces like a brick wall with opinions. Croc hits him. Luke barely budges.
But then… Croc uses an illegal move: He throws his entire body weight like a crocodilian locomotive and tackles Luke into the ground. Luke gets up, annoyed but intact. He punches Croc. Croc likes it.
Not cool.
Luke is used to guys who stop fighting when their ribs crack. Croc does not stop because he does not notice.
They trade blows like two dumpsters colliding in an alleyway. But then the environment shifts.
If there is water? Even a puddle? Croc’s home-field energy skyrockets.
Luke slips just once. That is all Croc needs.
He drags Luke down, wraps him in the “death roll,” and spins like a very angry subway turnstile.
Luke cannot drown—skin is not lungs—but the roll disorients him enough for Croc to slam him into concrete repeatedly until the floor gives up and Luke stops struggling.
Luke survives. Of course he does. He always survives.
But this match? Croc takes it.
He stomps away muttering something about “finally getting good meat,” while Luke lies there stunned, covered in sewer water, and rethinking every life choice that brought him to this moment.
Winner: Killer Croc
Luke puts up a heroic fight, but Croc’s raw physicality + feral instincts + “I fight dirty and also maybe I eat people” energy gives him the edge.
Luke survives. Luke is just… not winning.
Score Card
Power:
Croc — 8.5
Luke — 9
→ Luke wins (barely)
Emotional Messiness:
Croc — 9 (“abandoned freak raised in sewers, now angry all the time”)
Luke — 6 (“I just want rent paid”)
→ Croc wins
Banter:
Croc — 1 (“hiss”)
Luke — 7 (“bro, seriously?”)
→ Luke wins
Function Outside Niche:
Croc — 3 (outside humid darkness? cranky lizard.)
Luke — 8 (punches work everywhere)
→ Luke wins
But actual fight?
→ Killer Croc
Luke goes to the med bay.
Croc goes to the winners’ bracket.
And Jonas goes, “Next!”
