First and Final Performance

This is not immaturity. It is emotional sabotage dressed in self-pity.

The kind of pattern that leaves craters in others and confusion in himself. And then, instead of looking at the destruction, they are taking a selfie in the smoke and calling it “a rough day.”

If one of us had died (me or Maria) , they might have mourned—but not for us. They would have mourn the spotlight leaving. They would have mourned the story they lost control over

They never asked, “What did I do to her?”

They asks, “How will people see me because of what happened to her?”

This is the difference. This kind of detachment? It is not forgetfulness. It is a defence system designed to avoid shame—by rewriting the story before anyone else can speak. Myself, Maria, others—we were not allowed to share notes.

Because if we had?

The plot would fall apart.

And now that it has happened? Now that we have finally spoke across the silence they counted on?

They have only one path forward: Not performance. Not pity. Accountability. If they cannot answer the question:

“What would I have done if she had died—and could I have looked her family in the eye?”

Then they are not ready to be around other people. Because people are fragile.

And we are not here to be lessons in someone else’s hero’s journey.