Bowie and I were walking around in town today, and there was a pro-Palestine march. She asked what was going on. It took me some time to sort out what to say. It went a bit like this:
Me: Some groups of people in the world are fighting over land and how things should be run there. It has been going on for a long time, and a lot of people are getting hurt. The people you saw today are trying to show that they want the fighting to stop and for people to be safe.
Bowie: Why, though?
Me: Sometimes people disagree about who something belongs to, or how to share it. And when grown-ups do not solve those disagreements well, it can turn into fighting instead of talking.
Bowie: Who is right?
Me: It is complicated, and there are people on all sides who believe they are right. But what matters most is that hurting people is not okay, and many people around the world want peace and safety for everyone.
That is a really big question. Even adults do not all agree on the full answer. But we can keep learning together.
Bowie: But how did it start?
Me: Very long ago, different groups of people lived in that area at different times, and many of them felt it was their home. After a big war (World War II), a lot of Jewish people needed a safe place to live because they had been treated very badly, and many moved there. At the same time, Palestinian people were already living there, and they did not want to lose their homes. The land ended up being divided in a way that not everyone agreed with, and over time, it led to fighting and a lot of hurt on both sides.
This is a very short version of a very long and complicated story. Different people tell it in different ways depending on their experiences.
Bowie: Okay, but who was there first?
Me: People have lived there for thousands of years, and different groups have been there at different times. That is one of the reasons it is so complicatedβthere is not one simple answer everyone agrees on.
Bowie: Why do they need their own place to live? Everyone I know is different, and we live together just fine.
Me: What you are saying is how things should work. People can be different and still live together peacefully. And in many places, that is exactly what happens.
But sometimes, groups of people become afraid of each other, or do not trust each other, or feel like they will not be treated fairly. When that fear gets really big, some people start believing they need their own place where they feel safe and in control.
It is a bit like if kids at school stopped trusting each other and started thinking, βI can only be safe if I am with my group and no one else.β That does not make it the best solution, I know. But it is how people sometimes react when they are scared or hurt.
In this situation, there is also a long history of people being treated very badly, especially Jewish people in the past, and that made the idea of having a place where they could be safe feel really important. But the problem is, other people were already living there, and they also deserve to feel safe. So now both sides are trying to protect themselves, and it clashes.
It would be better if people could live together peacefully. A lot of people are trying to figure out how to make that happen.
Bowie: But mommyβ¦ You told me that I can think someoneβs mean because they treat my friends or me badly, but I canβt think theyβre mean because I donβt like the way they look or if they look very different from me. That inside weβre all the same, and the outside doesnβt tell you anything important.
Me: You are right. That is what I believe. And it is still true. People are not mean because they look different. And being different is not a reason to treat someone badly.
The problem is not how people look. The problem is what people believe about each other, and how they treat each other over time.
That does not make it right. It just explains why it happens.
Grown-ups do not always follow the same rules I am teaching you. Sometimes they forget them. Sometimes they are scared. Sometimes they have been hurt for so long that they stop trusting anyone who feels different.
A MOMENT…
I have told her that people have judged me and assumed I was a thief or a liar just because I am not white. She did not understand.
I asked her to pick one of two photos. Both kids were wearing the same outfit. She chose the girl with pale skin and light hair over the brown girl with curly hair. I asked her why she made that choice. She said the lighter-skinned girl looked like her classmate.
That is how I presented racial biases.
Me: Do you remember when you picked the girl who looked like your classmate? You did not think the other girl was badβyou just picked what felt familiar and safe to you.
She nodded.
Me: Now imagine that feeling getting bigger and bigger, and people not just noticing what is familiar, but starting to believe that anything unfamiliar is unsafe or does not belong. And instead of being curious, they get scared or protective.
In some places in the world, that feeling has been passed down for a long timeβthrough stories, through hurt, through history. So instead of people saying, βwe are all different, but we can live together,β they start saying, βwe need to stay separate to be safe.”
But just like with the pictures, that feeling is not always telling the truth. It is just a feeling. And people can learn to look past it.
By this point, Bowie’s brain had switched me off for some superhero saga.Β
