You ever walk into a room and feel like you’ve just interrupted something? Like the furniture was whispering secrets, the coat rack knows too much, and the lamp… judges you?
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to the most suspicious light source I’ve ever encountered: The Bunny Lamp™ (certainly cursed).
Now, at first glance, it’s kind of charming, striped like Beetlejuice’s pajamas, shaped like a bunny with ears that mean business.
But then you look into its eyes. And it looks back. Not like a normal lamp. No. Like a bunny-shaped emissary from the Nether Realm of IKEA Returns.
It doesn’t blink. It doesn’t move. But it knows.
This is not a lamp that illuminates. This is a lamp that watches.
And don’t let the whimsical design fool you. This lamp doesn’t light up a room—it dims hope. It doesn’t sit on a night stand—it waits on a night stand. For what? We may never know. Possibly the reckoning. Possibly Tuesday.
Also, is it just me, or does it look like it’s wearing a little jail outfit?
Like it got caught doing something deeply illegal in the world of shadow puppets and is now serving time by illuminating our sins in soft, ambient glow.
I keep telling myself it’s just a lamp. Just a piece of quirky decor.
But every night, when the house is still and the lights are low… I hear a faint whisper:
“Turn me off, and I will remember.”
