Can we talk about the term MILF?
I got called this, and a friend of mine asked me if I was chuffed. I said:
“Nah. My femininity/attractiveness/desirability is hardly gauged by the fact that I am a mother.
This term is derogatory. It claims in some way that once you have become a mother you become less fuckable. This is bizarre really because you had to (in most cases) have sex to become a mother.
The Madonna/whore complex runs deep in this society.”
Later, I got similar texts. Like this was supposed to be a COMPLIMENT.
Wait, what?
Women get pregnant and become mothers. Men have children and stay, well… men. They shrug off the responsibility with ease.
This conversation was had:
“Asinine when you think about it. Men can do as they see fit, fuck about to their heart’s content. It is okay. If women do it, they are sluts and their “value” goes down. And if they get pregnant, it is their responsibility. Men can leave. Yet it is just as much their doing. It boggles my mind how this makes sense. Yet, society is stacked up this way. I say shotgun weddings should make a comeback. What is good for one should be good for another! Equal opportunity!
I do not understand why, in this arena, men are allowed free-range. Oh, big deal, you have to pay a small fee once a month for 18 years. What it does to the woman’s body alone will never pay itself back. And what about the psychological effects on the woman (let alone the abandoned child?)?
We get stretch marks, they get a brood of look-a-likes, and somehow we are the sirens, the home-wreckers, the bitches that “make them” pay their child support or ask them to help out when their kid needs braces.
They are entitled to a carefree life, understand. It is in the manstitution. They still, however, have the right to complain about how terrible women are on Reddit because no matter how much we have to handle, it is not enough. There is a switch we need to know when it is on and when it is off: when it is okay to be sexualised and when we are just mums.
Never mix the two unless it is for Pornhub.”
And for the men who take care of their children, this is not about you. Please do not take this to heart.
It is not easy to be human, much less be 100% responsible for another one. This is not a jab at those who have got cold feet and questioned their ability to be a parent. I think every single one of us has wondered what the fuck we are doing (at least a dozen times a day).
No, this post is for those people who adamantly refuse to stand up and do what is right. Those who leave people behind when they know life is already hard enough, and they are just making it harder.
It is also for those people that think women are just commodities.
I am overshadowed by the shallowness of humanity.
Again.
At the same time, it showed me how far I have come in how I think about myself.
I would have been complimented by these comments at one point.
I did not know better and thought that all I was worth was tiny crumbs at the feet of small-minded men that are still wet behind their ears.
