Ringfinger

Wrap my eyes in bandages
Confessions I see through
I get everything I want
When I get part of you

The Only One vs. The Place-marker

The Only One:

• They expect access to all of you: time, attention, affection, and priority.

• They get jealous when you so much as blink at someone else.

• They want you to prove your loyalty, constantly.

• They treat their place in your life like a trophy—earned once, kept forever.

• They assume exclusivity = importance = safety.

• You are a mirror for their worth.

• They do not tolerate competition because they are not secure enough to see it as anything but a threat.

This is often about ownership masked as intimacy. “You belong to me = I matter = I can breathe now.”

The Place-marker:

• They come and go, assuming you will always be there.

• They do not ask for much from you… but they also do not offer much.

• They get possessive when you move on, but go silent when you ask for depth.

• You are their “just in case” person—a placeholder while they chase someone or something else.

• Your emotional needs are minimised, because your presence is treated like a convenience.

• They will pop in with kindness, nostalgia, or sex—but vanish when you need clarity, closure, or real connection.

This is not love. It is emotional loitering. Someone hovering in your life’s doorway with no intention of stepping inside—or letting anyone else do so either.

Both feel awful, just in different fonts. One wraps itself in intensity. The other is in ambiguity. Neither gives you mutual, mature care.

The Only One vs. A Healthy Relationship

The Only One (aka, Possession wrapped up and presented as passion):

• Love = exclusivity

• Jealousy = proof of caring

• Your attention is a commodity to be hoarded

• Their needs are louder than yours

• Boundaries = threats

• You are expected to validate their worth, constantly

• Emotional safety is built on your loyalty, not mutual respect

Think of it like this: “If you love me, you will never make me uncomfortable.” (Spoiler: that is control, not connection.)

A (Reasonably) Healthy Relationship:

• Love = curiosity, consistency, care

• Jealousy is owned, processed, and talked about—not weaponised

• Attention is offered freely, not extracted

• Needs are communicated, not demanded

• Boundaries are seen as acts of love, not distance

• Validation is internal, with space for external reassurance

• Emotional safety is mutual, not conditional

Think of this one like: “If you love me, we will both get to be our whole selves—even when it is uncomfortable.”