Once upon a time, in a kingdom not so-very far away, lived a girl named Melinda. She was not tall, nor fair. She did not inherit a fortune when her father died, she did not have a perilous or epic journey to embark on. No, Melinda was no fairy tale princess. She will never go to a ball or have a wicked step-mum. She was ill-treated and disregarded due to the lowliness of her station.
Melinda did, however, find love.
William was fair and had embarked on a perilous journey. His tale started joyously. He was born to loving and doting parents. He never wanted for anything. Likewise, he had two younger brothers and they all lived a nice, comfortable life. When William was of age, he set out to acquire an education. Higher learning became a burden to him, for he was one with a gentle, artistic heart. He did not see the point of figures and tasks when he dreamed of a brighter existence. Life quickly became too difficult for him to keep up with. He lost himself in drink and despair. He fell into the bed of anyone that would pay him any mind. He wrapped himself up in fantasy. Reality began to reach up to choke him – so he hid. As William’s paranoia grew, his humanity shrank. He lied and cheated to keep himself from the increasing loneliness that threatened to consume him. He took what he wanted and never thought of the consequences.
He was truly adrift.
Melinda happened upon a curious young man one evening. She found herself staring at him. He paid her no mind for he was out hunting for someone to drown his sorrows in. She watched him try to curry favour with many of the local working girls and other lowborn women. He was acting like a gentleman, but his eyes hid something darker, colder.
She quietly approached him, when his efforts left him alone. She tapped him on the shoulder and when he turned around she felt like all the air in the world was being sucked out. She found herself less confident than she had ever been. Her mouth betrayed her and spoke these words: “You are beautiful”.
William was taken aback by this woman’s words. Was she making an advance on him? This was quite out of the ordinary, he thought. What must her angle be? He had nothing for her to steal. No prospects, no title or fame. He asked her if she fancied having a drink with him.
They sat for hours, talking about themselves and life and other random things. They walked together, the drink getting to their heads. Melinda remembers thinking that the stars were extra sparkly that night. William was enjoying himself even with the wariness creeping up his spine. When she asked him something about his past, he changed the subject or told a new version of his stories. She was not of higher ranking than he was but she was clever and kind… and unique. She spoke to him of her own free will, not because he paid for her time.
Soon it was dawn and they reluctantly said their good-byes. They planned to meet again the next day at the same place. That night was similar to the night before. They saw each other like this for weeks. For the first time in as long as William could remember, he felt happiness. He asked for her hand, and she accepted.
Shortly after his proposal, he thought of what he had to bring into this relationship. He realised he had nothing of value to give. He paced his room and pitied himself. He knew in his heart that Melinda deserved someone better than he. He found one of his usual girls and after paying her, he brought her back to his room.
He ignored Melinda for the next days. He slept all day and whored all night. One afternoon she called on him and found him in this state, smelling of booze and women. She cried and asked him why he would do such a thing, did he not love her? He told her that she was not good enough, pretty enough or important enough for him. He told her he wanted a fair princess, not the daughter of a whore. She ran out of his room, her heartbreaking with every step she took away from him.
The next morning, Melinda packed a basket with cheese, bread and fruit. She brought this basket to him. He bashfully took it. He asked why she was being gracious towards him. She expressed simply, “because I love you”. He did not understand why she came back to him. He was relieved and antagonistic. He asked how she did not hate him? What he did must have been unforgivable? He wept.
She folded her arms around his waifish frame, kissing his cheek. She said to him, softly, “You have doubts about yourself that I cannot wrap my head around – you have this uncommon beauty. Sometimes I think if I can make eye contact long enough – which is so hard because I positively melt when I look at you – I would be able to see directly into your soul. Why do you think I would judge you for the life you have lived so far? I know you are not much into self-reflection. Move forward, do not take anything with you. None of it matters. Tomorrow is another day, just like the three before it. Stop a second and think. Blink a few times and remember what your life was like a year ago. Two years ago. Fifteen years ago. Do you want to live like this for the rest of your life?” He shook his head and wiped the tears from his face. No, he did not want that.
He just could not imagine his life being anything more than it had been. He did not feel like he deserved anything good. He wanted the best for her and if it was him that she wanted, then he had to change to make her proud of him.
He had to stop playing as a gentleman and become one.
