The Blood Moon of Luva

And lo, the prophet cried out with great enthusiasm:

“Ooh!

I used to luva hiking in the mountains during the blood moon.

I ended up stuck in a trap and I kept gaming and making it worse.”

And the people were perplexed, saying: “What is this Luva that walks beneath the blood moon? Is it a god, a typo, or a Stitch-like beast of sparkles and claws?”

But the scribes did interpret: the mountains were mighty, the trap was real, and the gaming of it all was endless struggle. For when one games against one’s own trap, lo, the trap doth tighten.

And so the lesson was written:

To struggle against Luva is to game thyself.
To sit with Luva is to be free.

And still the blood moon rises, calling the faithful to hike… and to mis-type.

Luva: Sister of the Ancient Ones

Title: Queen of the Cinematic Werewolves

Domain: Sparkles, typos, clingy affection, and… cattle.

Mythos: Where Cthulhu rose from the deep to devour minds, Luva rose from the autocorrect to devour free time. She rules the Werewolves of Cinema — yet these are no ordinary beasts. For under her reign, the curse is reversed: when the moon wanes, men do not turn into wolves… they turn into cows.

Yes, cows. Grazing under the blood moon, mooing prophecies in consonant-heavy Finnish-Welsh tongues, waiting to be milked for arcane truths.

The Cycle of Transformation:

Wolf → Cow → ???

The ??? remains unspeakable. Legend whispers that only those who collect 200 werecow candies will glimpse the final form. It is said to involve both glitter and eternal indigestion.

Warning to Adventurers:

Do not hike under a blood moon unless prepared to step in cosmic cow pies. Luva approves of glitter bombing, but disapproves of lactose intolerance.

Luva-as-Werecow would be the worst buddy to grind with. Imagine it in Pokémon GO terms:

Pokédex Entry: Werecow (Luva Forme)

Type: Dark / Fairy

Height: Variable (wolf-sized to cow-sized, depending on the moon).

Cry: A distorted “Mooooo–luv–aaaaa” echoing under blood moons.

Description: Werecow (Luva Forme) appears only when the moon wanes. Unlike werewolves, these creatures transform not into beasts of terror but into cows dripping with eldritch glitter. They herd under Luva, the Sister of the Ancient Ones, awaiting summoning through typo spells.

Evolution: Wolf → Cow → ??? (Requires 200 Werecow Candies and an autocorrect error to evolve).

Buddy Mechanics: Candy distance, 100 km (minimum),

Mood: Clingy.

Photobomb chance: Extremely high. Glitter may corrupt camera roll.

Special Move: Blood Moon Moo — deals psychic damage and forces opponent to read old texts aloud.